I have momentarily forgone other dreams, job opportunities, paths worth pursuing... In reflection, I used to let fear overwhelm me... Fear of missed opportunities, having to choose paths... And now I groggily laugh, HA!, Alas!, I have chosen for now. [These days, as a fact, I no longer fear. Fear escapes me. I have adapted in more ways to more unusual situations than I can count.]
All in all, it's a simple life here. Struggles abound, I greet the light of day with a smile. Even on a rainy day, it is welcome here. It's an odd simulation, though, I must say. I'm given a general outline of a job description, dumped in a two room mud brick house and have to budget a peanut salary. Then, I have a community asking me questions in a foreign language and I'm suddenly conforming to the cultural norms of the village. Ok great - challenge accepted.
Cut to, 10 months and 3 seasons later I am facing a certain time block ahead of me... Knowing what I know now... The language, the job, the seasons... And I just sit here painting my walls with the rain outside and my crops emerging from the soil in my field.. And I think, I am so content. But what's next? I'm a bit of an analyzer, if you know me at all. I take a lot to heart, too. I calculatingly fly off the seat of my pants and I chase dreams til I'm riding their clouds.
|Photo courtesy of a 5 y.o.|
Just noticed there's paint on me here too, ha!
Still, I am carving out this little happy chunk of time to serving the people around me in any way I know how. Oh, and I am in proximity to dozens of wondrous destinations around this continent and I have ample time to see so many! And it's not just me here in Zambia. I have made countless friends and brought along two fantastic ones that I already knew!
Now, I tell you, I'm growing within myself and in my gardens. I'm seeking, I'm finding. I'm being kind to myself and others. I'm gaining confidence in all things. I still have trouble simply living day to day, but the pace of life and the people here have dictated my rate of project completion and enforced a continuum of working to live.
Indeed, I have witnessed both working to live (here) and living to work (in the states) to their extremes.. And as I sit here covered in paint, listening to rain mixed with a cool jazz hi-hat tremble from my speaker, I think, I am so content.
I am as happy for my friends and family living their dreams as I am here living mine.. And I'm real happy for them! I look ahead with my palms outward facing, my blessings on my back, and my eyes wide open to what bliss I am to find next.
This small dissertation was the result of a moment to myself. These moments we each need; to align ourselves with our own destiny. Try it for yourself. Produce art, listen to music, revere nature - all at once if you are lucky. Find inspiration everyday: in the work you do, in the ones you love, in the reflection you make.
I am wishing everyone near and far Happy Holidays and don't forget to keep in touch. Love and Joy!
Current Mood: trembling Current Music: Again Today/Hiing My Heart - Brandi Carlile